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Originally Posted by Gretsch Player
Were you thrown off by my use of the word "dangerous"? I put apostrophes around it to show that I am not using it in the literal sense. I meant figuratively dangerous. As in, she is in danger of getting turned on by the guy and falling into bed with him for an evening of romance. In other words: there's danger afoot, because the conditions are right for extramarital sex.
If that's not it, then I can't help you out. You'll just have to remain confused.
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Yes that what I figured you meant but in the context it was unclear to me.
Good luck to you, but having been involved in swinging off and on for several years, I can tell you that open marriages often end in disaster and I wouldn't recomend it to anyone. Someone gets left out, and gets hurt. Often it seems they leave for a play partner, and I've seen the sob story again and again on swingers boards, which tend to get posts from open marriage types as well even though they are not the same.
With swingers or poly's the is a respect by all for the underlying relationship, with an open marriage the other partner doesn't give a rats ass about your relationship with your spouse. At best I see it as having 'allowed' affairs, at worst I see it as a ticket for divorce.
Maybe its just me with a biased perspective based on what I've seen, but I've never known a happy long term, until death do you part, open relationship, I've only seen the broken marriages.
What you do have going for you is that most open relationships have people looking for sex, its not a circumstantial thing like you described, so I suppose you may be more like 'condoned affairs' than an open marriage that most people seem to talk about having.