Definitions schmefinitions. Who really cares what you are--what matters is that you've got an agreement that works between you. And you survived a trial that would have ended weaker relationships. AND you're enjoying the benefits of communicating with each other on the level that non-monogamy demands.
There's a saying in the Polyamory community: there are as many different poly configurations as there are poly families. In other words, no two couples or "clumps" have the same rules or agreements. Yours are just as unique as everybody else's.
The only thing I'd say about this is: I generally align with the philosophies and attitudes of those who identify as polyamorous. But the polyamory community is largely made up of ren-fest geeks or grey-bearded hippies, which really isn't my demographic. So while I support and generally follow the beliefs of the community, I find myself slightly embarassed by the community. I wish there was a term for hip, urban 20- to 30-something people whose lifestyle and choices allow for multiple romances and lovers.
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Originally Posted by Gretsch Player
PS: By the way, I posted my concerns on the "off-topic" section of a libertarian/left-leaning political forum I frequent, and you would not believe the hatred and vitriol leveled against me from supposed non-traditionalists. Society is ill-equipped to handle people who have different ideas about marriage, I guess. They insisted I couldn't be happy. I said I was. My marriage is better now than it ever was. That is no exaggeration. Our marriage is stronger than it was even before she slept with that half-man.
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I hear you completely. I had a lot of fun on Friday night telling lurkette all about the first date I had that afternoon. That was weird in itself--I haven't had a "date" in at least 15 years. But it went great, she's a really fun girl, and I'm looking forward to seeing her again. And I love that who lurkette and I are for each other is solid and stable enough that we can demonstrate that by allowing each other the freedom to explore.
It's definitely not how we're mostly raised to believe that relationships are "supposed" to be, though, so I generally think people's negative reactions are understandable, though unenlightened.