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sounds tough... basically, you did get mad when she was openly going out with this guy so you need to be sure you are ok with all of this. I think most importantly, are you getting some action on the outside too? What i mean is are you having flings too? or is it just your wife? Personally I dont know I could handle all of this, but if you are ok with this then great for you.
As for defining what you have, you have an open marrige if you are each hooking up with other people outside your marrige and are "open" about it with each other. So i guess thats what you got!
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