Ustwo

This I'll agree is generally true, but we are talking about getting the girl in the first place to have a chance to make the baby. You need to learn how to act like an alpha male even if deep inside you just want to cuddle

Be careful about assuming I even give a second look at pop psychology. I spent a good deal of time as an evolutionary biologist, thats where I get my data. The mind of a woman is DIFFERENT than the mind of a man, period. This is why boys pick up language so slowly and like to hit things with sticks, in fact boys don't catch up to girls in social skills and the ability to learn via text until about age 12, and then guess what happens at age 12? The first testosterone plus to a male fetal brain sets the pattern. Children don't have different testosterone levels but the change has already happened.

This sounds more like pop psychology to me, the same type of psychology that says violent people have low self esteem when in reality the problem with most violent people is they have way to much self esteem.

I'm a married man and when I'd come home from work my wife would want to tell me about her day, in detail, and about what Bob said and Jane did and how Jill pissed her off and blah blah blah. As many married men learn we turn off part of our brain lest it asplode when this happens. Now if I had a bad day she would want to hear about it, and the last thing I do when I get home is want to talk about the day, I know I'm not alone in this as a man. It’s a cliche but its not a learned behavior, its part of who we are and how we evolved. Women are far more verbal.

Calling violence and emotional problem trivializes something innate in humans and most animals. Violence is part of who we are because it works so well. We are the products of violent, warlike people. Its not deep seated emotional problems, but instinct. When someone strikes you, you don't get angry and strike back because of having emotional problems, its because your bodies chemistry goes into survival mode and gets you ready to kill or be killed, or run like hell. I would say that people who are violent because of emotional issues end up in trouble quite quickly as their violence is not calculated. Murder is an innate male characteristic, it does not require emotional issues, it might often be dumb, but a man doesn't shoot a bank teller to get the cash because of emotional issues, it’s a calculated risk, its only todays law enforcement that makes such risks poor bets.

Physical attributes are only a part of what makes an alpha male. I work with 15 women, often an attractive man will become a patient and they will do what women in groups do which is talk about it. If that man doesn't have the personality of an alpha male as well they very quickly lose interest. What makes an alpha male is also status. Wealth, fame, power, all contribute to make an alpha male in a females eyes. Last I recall Bill Gates had a hot wife, but I wouldn't trade for his physical attributes, unless you are including wealth and personality as physical attributes (though I don't think its his personality that won her over). As for the poor child rearing, it depends on the species and the goal. Part of child rearing is resources, if a man is very rich, it doesn't matter how much time he takes with the child, the child and the mother are taken care of. This is the instinct that females have that helps choose who they mate with. Being a good provider is attractive. The concept that the superior males will be less attentive parents comes from animals where the male will have many extra matings. Then it becomes a trade off with child rearing vrs superior genes. Humans are not as ridged in this, and while a sultan my not give much attention to all the children in his harem, they would have been FAR better off than being the children of two poor parents, this situation is now rare in the western world. I think you are equating alpha male with untamed aggression and polygamy, which is not required for be a dominant male.

I know when I read a book I feel better able to take on lifes bullies

Exercise will produce chemical changes which I think will improve the situation far better than any book or hobby. A good work out need not take all day, there is still time for both, and speaking from personal experience at age 19, women didn't care that I was well read and was good with computers (that was a skill back then), they thought I was very smart, but that didn't seem to peek their interest in me sexually. Three months of working out later I was dating 3 women, and I ended up marrying one of them, we've been together for 15 years, I'm a good provider, and I just took care of my crying son while posting this and she slept, so I think I'm ok as a father.

I also disagree that its easier to find like minded people after college. Depending on where you are and what you do, it can be very difficult to meet new people. Perhaps what I miss most about school was the diversity of the people and the easy ability to make friends of your own age and place in life.

Being who you are IS important. When I tell a man not to be 'nice' what it really means is don't be smothering, don't show too much interest, basically play it cool. To do otherwise is to not understand the underlying unconscious drives of women. These drives are too look for the best possible mate for their children, and while the average woman at a bar isn't thinking 'boy he has good genes, I want him to mate with me to produce superior children' it is what drives 'attraction'. By letting a woman know she 'has' you early in the relationship before pair bonding is to invite her to look to see if she can get something even better. Men have similar unconscious drives, though we look for different traits. Those traits are why the titty board is full of young, mostly under 25, thin females and not grandmothers. Its also why the full monty board is almost empty. We are different mentally, with slightly different means of achieving the same genetic goals.

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