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Originally Posted by Gilda
Staying may not be in her best interests, but it's difficult to see that when you're in the situation, especially with a skilled manipulator. I tend to place the blame for abuse on the abuser, not the abused.
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I tend to place blame on both. The abuser for being abusive, and the abused for sticking around.
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Originally Posted by lindalove
Saying I should have 'checked' with him first. Eh--NO, I don't think so. Obviously surgery's a little more extreme than a haircut, but the message is the same; the SO saying "I want to have control/input over how you look." That part of it is just NOT cool in my book.
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Why is it wrong for a SO to have input over how you look? Assuming you want to make your SO happy, there are probably things everyone does to please a SO on a superficial level, and there isn't anything wrong with that. Granted, they don't have the final say - you do, assuming its a relationship I would call healthy.
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"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)
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