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Originally Posted by abaya
Yes, yes, Ustwo, we've gone over this before.  You know how I feel, and I know how you feel. But I don't think you speak the absolute truth in this case (nor do I)... it's relative. 
I'm just letting people know that not *all* women think men should be tough and strong and ready to fight, because some of us think it's unhealthy and sets a poor example for their own children's confidence and emotional wholeness. Not to mention that if a male does mention going to counseling (not casually in public/small talk, but when talking one-on-one with a trusted person), I find it very impressive and a mark of personal success.
I could care less how much a man makes, what kind of academic degrees he has, or how big his muscles (or other body parts) are. If the man is not emotionally intelligent(or at least not working on becoming so), he goes straight down the drain for me. I really admire people's work on themselves, and the ability to ask for help when needed; it speaks volumes to me of their character and humility. |
I'm going to have to ask why does having problems/issues bad enough to require paying an outsider to help you cope = personal success? That sounds like saying going to the cardiologist for a heart murmur = a healthy heart.
I would think being emotionally stable is a rather desirable trait for a male.
I think the crux of the issue is the basic natural differences between men and women. Women talk out their problems, its how you are wired, so if you have no one to listen to you I can understand where a counselor would be of use, if for nothing else then someone to talk to. Male brains are not set up in such a fashion. This is why some of us men think of therapy as an effeminate act instinctively. Men just don’t do that nor do they have the need for it. Since there are degrees of masculine/feminine brains, I'm sure there are some men who can benefit much like a woman, and I'm willing to bet a weeks pay that these men are more effeminate in other ways too, being less competitive for example.. Likewise perhaps these men are more desirable to dominant women who think more along male thought patterns. Just to be clear I'm not making this up as I go along, most psychologists are finally starting to grudgingly admit boys are not boys because we teach them to act like boys, but because we are wired to think that way from the start, and the same applies to women. Also sex differences are not absolute, men do better, on average than women at spacial tasks, but the best woman is going to be better at them than the worst man. The same applies to social skills where women are better on average than men but not all women are better than all men at them.
So I think its fair to say that ...
Most men have no use for counseling.
Some men do.
Most women prefer men who are dominant to other males (vague term, it doesn't mean beats them all up)
Some prefer the more sensitive, social male.
But I still think the OP needs the gym a hell of a lot more than a therapist