Impetuous1

I can relate to how you feel. I too used to be a doormat. It was part of my being nice to other people campaign. What has worked for me is to develop a backbone. You can be nice and still stick up for your rights and comforts. Don't let anyone push you around. What I do is I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I try being nice first. If they say something to me that ticks me off, ususally it's "You're so short", I feel that I am allowed to say something back to them along those lines. Like, "You're really smart aren't you?", "And you're ugly", or "You're fat". In other words, I get to pick something obvious about them too. Yeah, it's not that nice but what are you going to do. Stand there and let them treat you like shit? Believe me, once you can develop the strength to do something like that people's attitudes about you will change. Some people are nasty to you initially as a way of testing you. I'm not sure why some people do that. Also, be courteous but not overly polite. This can be misinterpreted. As far as the holding the door for that woman (girl more likely). She just sounds like a wrong headed feminist. I am a feminist but I do not get offended at courtesies like that unless I was like more than about 10 feet away and it just seems like the dude is holding it open as a way to cop a feel. Yeah, that's happened. Just ignore it. What I find works is just hold open the door to either sex if they're like 10 feet away from you. But this might not work for you since I'm a woman.

You've got to learn to love yourself and realize that your needs are more important to you than other's. Is this selfish? Yes, but it's the only way you'll learn to be happy. And don't take that literally. Like don't break any laws. Just learn to do things that make you happy. Also don't wave at people you don't know. That's just creepy.

Oh, and one last thing. There's no such thing as being too nice to women. This world needs more nice guys. Girls like bad boys. Women like good men. Or at least I do.