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I think maybe a search before posting would be some good advice...there have been quite a few threads on this topic in several forums here.
But, that aside, I think a vast number of women have this difficulty you're talking of and I think it has to do with how comfortable you are with yourself, and exposing yourself, how attentive and patient your partner is, and your own imagination. If you can masturbate yourself to orgasm, why don't you try doing that while you're with your partner? It's worth a try surely. Ultimately it might never happen, at least vaginally. Try to find other ways of enjyoment, the more focused you are on this difficulty, the more it becomes a huge and important problem.
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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
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