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Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru
As far as the office woman is concerned, it doesn't sound like she's to blame for much of anything. It sounds like she's in an emotionally abusive relationship... and a severe one at that. A situation like that is hard to get out of. Victims of emotional abuse (especially severe and long term) have little or no sense of self. This is how her husband controls her. Depending on the severity of the situation, if she were to tell a mental health professional everything about her life, this woman would possibly be told to leave the relationship immediately and seek emergency support.
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I don't mean to come off as rude or unsympathetic - it's obvious how unfortunate a situation this woman is in - but I can't understand how anyone can feel sympathy for this woman to the extent that they take the blame (which is rightfully hers) and place it on her husband.
Perhaps I'm heartless or maybe I've just read too many Ayn Rand books but I firmly believe that if she feels as if she deserves nothing better than a husband who makes her feel inadequate because of her physical appearance then she doesn't.
I'm not dancing around the role that her husband plays in her lack of self-esteem but there's no denying the fact that the only person who can instill a positive sense of self in that woman is herself.
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To be perfectly honest, most days when I look in the mirror, I really like what I see. I'm not super model thin and I don't want to be. Why can't people just let me like who I am? Can I just go one day without someone telling me my body is unacceptable?
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One of the most important aspects I look for in an SO is a somewhat realistic sense of self and self-esteem. You seem to be a rather beautiful person.