1. Amusement park critic.
The job would involve travelling the US, Europe, Asia, visiting amusement parks, sampling attractions and rating them, including hotels, restaurants, shopping venues and main street type attractions. It would likely take about two years to hit all the major parks worldwide.
2. Psychotherapist: The big drawback here being that I'm woefully badly equipped emotionally to do anything of this sort. Still, the most rewarding part of teaching middle school was the informal counseling I did with several of the gay kids at the schools where I taught in California. I was never much more than a sympathetic ear and someone to tell them that it's ok to be who they were, and couldn't help but think about what help I could have been if I really knew what I was doing.
College English professor is a pretty good gig. You get paid well, the work isn't physically demanding, and you're "on the clock" 25 hours a week 36 weeks a year. The job entails reading good books and talking about them with some pretty smart people who care about it. There's a lot of reading mediocre writing involved, too, but that's ok. The tradeoffs are worth it.
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I'm against ending blackness. I believe that everyone has a right to be black, it's a choice, and I support that.
~Steven Colbert
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