Xixox

An old lady dies and goes to heaven and is chatting
with St. Peter, at the Pearly Gates, when all of a sudden
she hears the most awful, blood-curdling screams.

"Don't worry about that," says St. Peter, "it's only
someone having the holes bored in their shoulder blades for the wings."

The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on with the conversation.
Ten minutes later, there are more blood-curdling screams.

"Oh my God," says the old lady, "now what is
happening?"

"Not to worry," says St. Peter, "they are just having
their heads drilled, to fit the halo."

"I can't do this," says the old lady, "I'm off down to
hell."

"You can't go there," says St. Peter, "You'll be raped
and sodomized!"

"Yeah, but I've already got the holes for that," says
the old lady.

__________________
Incompetence
When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do.