I agree with the line of thinking that suggests you are teaching your children by example. The danger of any form of corporal punishment is that it deters certain behaviour on the basis of fear. Is this something that should be administered to children? What does it teach, if not how to fear and how to cause fear?
The reason why parenting has moved away from spanking in favour of other forms of discipline (note: as opposed to punishment) is likely because these other methods aim to teach something other than how to use fear to manipulate people.
By "reasoning" with children, we give them the opportunity to learn why their behaviour is unacceptable and that other behavious can be rewarding.
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Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön
Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot
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