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I reason with my 2 year old every day, and I never use pain as negative reinforcement. This hot sauce treatment is, in my mind, along the same lines as spanking, washing the mouth out with soap, or any other physical injury.
While it is important to teach children that there can be physical consequences for their actions, such as being burned, hot sauce is meant to be a deterrant and doesn't fit under that lesson.
One thing I have been able to recognize in myself is the difference between methodical and patient reinforcement, and the temptation to give into small urges to enforce out of vengence and anger. Yelling is a good example of letting your rage speak instead of your parenting. The only time you will ever hear me yell at my daughter is when she is far away and cannot hear me. Because my parents yelled at me, this has been unbelievably difficult but necessary. That's not to say that all parents who yell at thair kids are letting their anger parent on purous, but yelling is an intimidation technique. I have no reason to intimidate my daughter (or anyone else for that matter). Giving your child hot sauce, for many people, can be as much to have them experience the pain as the parent whitnessing the child enduring pain. I say this because I have seen it with spanking and other pyisical negative actions. Mom at the store with a look of rage in her face grabs her 4 year old son who she can't control and spanks him. Immediatally after, she feels better. As stated in my signature: I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent.
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