Very interesting you bring this up, as I did a poll/thread on this very subject, literally, a year and 1 month ago...
Sex on the first date vs. Marriage
Take the poll, if you haven't already, and check out the statistics. I have to say I was a little surprised at the disparity. I mean, it's a pretty significant difference, when I thought it would be a *little* closer... the correlation is difficult to ignore, isn't it? lol
The poll results...
# votes - Vote description:
30 - I am married, and we had sex on the first date.
55 - I am married, and we
DID NOT have sex on the first date.
13 - I have a long-time SO and we had sex on the first date.
44 - I have a long-time SO and we
DID NOT have sex on the first date.
I'm not trying to derail this thread, not at all, but you can contribute to the stats in the other one if this topic interests you, and also get even more insight and opinion on this. Great topic choice, lindalove.
For my own part, I've had two relationships that lasted about 6 months each where we had sex on the first "date". One of the two was more like a year if you count the "unofficial" 6 months afterward when we spent about as much time together, but "were friends", even though we had full physical exclusivity with each other- no sex, touching, even kissing, another person until we decided we were split. Call it what you will, but I think it was both of us not wanting to lose the great sexual outlet. Every once in a while she'd tell me she was kinda interested in some guy, then he'd find out she wasn't going to give it right up and he'd bail, and things would go back to normal. That would take a few days to a week, max, and happened about 3 or 4 times. She told them straight out what was up, and that if they really cared about HER, they'd be fine with it. None were. Mind you, she didn't tell them why. She didn't say, "because I'm fucking and kissing my friend," she just said she didn't do physical things right away. Many guys expect it, and would just walk. As far as I'm concerned, that's not a bad way to find the right guy (as her friend and a person who loved her, I didn't want to see her go off with some jackass or something).
I have a lot of regrets about her... I regret breaking up with her, regret not getting back together when I should have clearly seen our "unofficial" time was bullshit... just regret losing her in general. She was perfect, in her flawed way. We're all flawed in some way... but her flaws were endearing and lovable.
As I put forth in my old thread about this, it was about opportunity... we had sex on our first opportunity. Before that, it was friendship "hanging out"... the first time we hung out after we indicated we were interested in each other, however... it was on. To her credit, and the credit of our relationship, however, I think a large part of the first date nookie for us was that we'd already known each other WAY more than long enough for her to know me as a person, and already had trust built and such. She knew I wasn't just looking for some action and then running away.