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Gilda · 09-16-2006, 08:38 PM

I considered several different options when I was married. I could keep my father's name, take my mother's maiden name, move my maiden name to my middle, hyphenate my name with Grace's, or just take Grace's name. Alternately, we could have chosen something new for the family.

Keeping my maiden name was the first thing I dismissed. Breaking ties with my father and his line was actually a big positive, and thus, keeping it in any way, as my last, middle, or hyphenated, was discarded easily.

I felt little connection to my mother's maiden name, and didn't like the "son of [male name] patriarchal formation of it.

I did want to have the same last name as her, and since I was changing it anyway, it made the most sense to take her name. I like the idea of being a part of her family more than my own birth family anyway, and it helps reinforce for us the sense of family. It's also symbolic for us in that it's a way of saying that our marriage is as real as anybody else's.

We had a traditional marriage ceremony with a slight accommodation for there being no groom. When referring to "traditional" wedding vows or ceremonies, you should keep in mind that not everyone has a Christian ceremony. Grace and I had a traditional ceremony--a traditional Shinto ceremony.

Sissy says there is no way she's changing her name for some man after so carefully choosing just the right name to fit who she is as a person.

Gilda

09-16-2006, 08:38 PM	#106 (permalink)
Gilda 32 flavors and then some Location: Out on a wire.	I considered several different options when I was married. I could keep my father's name, take my mother's maiden name, move my maiden name to my middle, hyphenate my name with Grace's, or just take Grace's name. Alternately, we could have chosen something new for the family. Keeping my maiden name was the first thing I dismissed. Breaking ties with my father and his line was actually a big positive, and thus, keeping it in any way, as my last, middle, or hyphenated, was discarded easily. I felt little connection to my mother's maiden name, and didn't like the "son of [male name] patriarchal formation of it. I did want to have the same last name as her, and since I was changing it anyway, it made the most sense to take her name. I like the idea of being a part of her family more than my own birth family anyway, and it helps reinforce for us the sense of family. It's also symbolic for us in that it's a way of saying that our marriage is as real as anybody else's. We had a traditional marriage ceremony with a slight accommodation for there being no groom. When referring to "traditional" wedding vows or ceremonies, you should keep in mind that not everyone has a Christian ceremony. Grace and I had a traditional ceremony--a traditional Shinto ceremony. Sissy says there is no way she's changing her name for some man after so carefully choosing just the right name to fit who she is as a person. Gilda __________________ I'm against ending blackness. I believe that everyone has a right to be black, it's a choice, and I support that. ~Steven Colbert Last edited by Gilda; 09-16-2006 at 08:58 PM..