Ustwo

Five years ago today I was driving down I290, listening to sports radio. I was listening to Murph and Fred, and ironically I started listening to sports radio back in 2000 for the main purpose of not listening to political talk after the 2000 election.

I was on my way to downtown Chicago in my 3rd year of orthodontic training.

It was a clear day, though there was still a bit of fog in the air. It was about 7:35 (thats the time I remember, I am not sure) when they announced that a plane had hit the world trade center. My first thoughts were that it was terrorism, but at the time they were only my own, the news guy said it was an accident.

They weren't sure what size plane, or what sort of damage was done, only that there was a fire.

Then they announced a second plane hit. Now I no longer thought it was terrorism I knew. The radio announcer, a sports guy, seemed at a loss to put it together on air. The feeling was 'something is happening and I have no idea what.'

Well I got to class that day a bit early for some presentation. I spoke with the head of my department and told her that there was an attack at the world trade center. She seemed sort of confused, and she didn't have a lot of chit-chat personality so just sort of nodded at me, but she is pretty smart and I am sure she started looking it up on the Internet.

I have to admit I told her about it in something of an excited tone of voice, something important was happening after all, and it didn't sound too bad at this point. I've had it referred to as the 'monkey reflex' even though we are in fact apes. While most animals will run from the first sign of danger, humans like to see what all the rukus is, which sounds counter survival, though I have a theory on it which need not be presented here.

Well I forget what the presentation was about, something dry and technical no doubt and still the gravity of what 9/11 was becoming wasn't known yet.

I leave the presentation half way for a bathroom break and the cute Hispanic girl at the front desk who we were friends with as a class tells me that one tower has fallen. Now this starts to sink in, but I return to class. We get out and she and the other girl at the front desk tells a group of us that both towers had fallen and that they are canceling our patients for the day and closing the school.

The school closing really told us the gravity of the situation. While most schools seem to close at the hint of a snow, UoIllinois only closes for national disaster level events. Back when I was an undergrad we had an icestorm that took out power for half the city (this being UIUC) and left about 6 inches of solid uncleared ice on the sidewalks and roads. TA's couldn't get to classes, professors couldn't get to classes, kids trying to get to classes looked like they were in a MASH unit from all the injuries due to trying to walk on ice, but the school stayed open. The Chicago campus was much the same way with the only closing anyone could recall being due to the historic 1968 Chicago blizzard.

Telling us the school was closing meant things were 'bad'.

Well freed of patient duties and having some time, we of course did what anyone would do. Checked the internet for news. I recall thinking that the planes had to have been rented or leased, as it would be much easier to use a charter jet, and one report said that they could see no marking on the planes. The horror of the use of hijacked planes still had not hit me as reality. I argued with someone that point, I was sadly very wrong.

One thing we all assumed at the time and didn't know, but still had no doubts was this was a Islamic terror act. Why we all assumed I'm sure you could have many theories on, but regardless, we knew. My program had a large contingent of Muslim students, mostly paid for by their respective governments. I could tell some interesting stories about them, but for the most part the girls were very nice and the guys were either very nice or total assholes. Most of the assholes were cordial with the faculty and fellow students, not friendly but not jerks either, but they were complete jerks with their patients and the staff. I'm assuming its a cultural thing dealing with servants, plus our patient pool didn't come from the upper, or even middle class but were mostly lower middle or recent immigrant families. Several of us offered to give some of the girls rides home, for their protection, we were not the only ones who would assume it was Islamic terror and it seemed the prudent thing to do being the women were all obvious with their head coverings, also they being women, were not allowed to drive in their home country and had to take public transportation. We were told by the asshole guys that they had it taken care of. What I didn't learn till later was that it would be unseemly for them to be with a non-Muslim male.

So I leave the school and the first thing I looked at was the Sears Tower, I, and about a million other people were wondering if something was going to happen there. I drove home listening to the still confused news, constantly glancing back in my rear view mirror at it.

I get home an turn on the TV and see my first real time pictures, plus replays of the explosions. I watched and kept watching. Some of the more famous talking heads seemed at a loss for words, without a script they didn't seem to do that well, others seemed to shine and still others were speculating wildly. I mostly ignored them all just listening for details. There was this and that false report about firefighters rescued, people trapped, and who the V.I.P.'s were on the aircraft or missing in the towers. For some reason this really really annoyed me. All these people dead, it didn't matter to me at that point if they were a CEO or a bus boy.

Then they showed the pictures of people jumping to their deaths. I didn't see this pictures until the evening or late afternoon. For the first time, and I'm getting slightly misty eyed even now writing this, I cried at something I saw in the news. Seeing a couple, I don't know if they were married, lovers, friends, or just two people who didn't want to die alone, jump hand in hand is what turned me from horror to tears. They say they won't show those pictures again since it would cause 'hate', they have a point but still I think everyone should see those pictures at least once. There is more at stake here than politics.

I needed to do something, and I knew what would help me as there was nothing I could do but watch in horror. I downloaded amazing grace on the bagpipes, an instrument I have a fondness for and was made for such occasions, I think I listened to it 10 times that night.

I don't recall what I did the next day, or the next, I can't remember if they school was closed the next day or not, but I do remember that day, I always will.

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