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Originally Posted by asudevil83
now, i'm a very analytical/proplem solving oriented guy, so i think there is always a solution to a problem out there. and i've been thinking about this for a while now, and i believe that there is a realization.
what i have come to realize is that a guy who finds himself in the "friend/nice guy" essentially has nominated himself to be there. for the most part, any guy has a chance with any chick, and if he wastes his opportunity to step up, he essential says "hey, i dont have the balls so i think i'm just going to settle for this".
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Yes, he's nominated himself to be there. However, once he's there it takes an act of God to get out. Not because of him, but simply because one never gets a second chance to make a first impression. That first impression, despite what many say, will guide someone's behavior in regards to you for quite some time. They have a view of you, and everything you say and do they will shoehorn into that view/expectation.
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Originally Posted by asudevil83
but what is a guy like me to do if he suddenly develops the balls and confidence, and wants to shed himself of the "nice guy" label? i think it is possible. now this might just be more bullshit and me talking out of my ass than anything, but it might have just a grain of truth to it.
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You can do it. You just may not be able to do it with
HER. There are more women then men out there. Find a different one and try on a new attitude. Remember, faking it works just as well.
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Originally Posted by asudevil83
1.) the nice guy can find a replacement "nice guy/friend" for this chick. a sort of deflection for a time being. during this time, someone like me has an opportunity to take control of the friendship and evolve it as they see fit. i guess it would be like finding some other poor sap, omega male to take over the reigns.
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The only thing you have control of is your presence and attitude. You can't really steer shit. If you don't like the way things are going, move on. It might actually do the trick.
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Originally Posted by asudevil83
2.) the nice guy can fade out of the friendship for a time (or at least limit his contact with this girl), and return down the road with a new attitude towards the "relationship".
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It sometimes works, sometimes not. More than likely, everything will return to previous behavior unless DRAMATIC changes occur during the off season.
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Originally Posted by asudevil83
this in theory only works when this girl is single. because returning to a chick who is still in a relationship does little to help evolve the friendship into something else.
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Completely not true. Most girls who are with guys, were with other guys JUST BEFORE they were with this guy. Few of them spend any time single, particularly if they are attractive and they know it. They always trade up. When you get dumped, its not because she wants some time alone. She has already moved on to someone else.
Veritas et Lux!
Jimmy The Hutt
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Originally Posted by Deltona Couple
Do what I have done before in my younger years, chase after their FRIENDS, and then when their friends say how great you are in bed, or whatever, then SHE will want you. worked all the time for me.
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This is a great plan.
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Originally Posted by Deltona Couple
Now If you want a REAL relationship, do what the majority seem to be saying in here and just be yourself, because if you change how you are now, you just become someone else, and lose sight of who you REALLY are. Then you will actually find the RIGHT girl for you, who likes the "good guy."
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True, but not until you are into your 30's, and finding women a little older than you. By that point, if they are not married, they are quite tired of the typical bullshit that goes on.
Veritas et Lux!
Jimmy The Hutt