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Originally Posted by ShaniFaye
Why is it hard to believe there are people in the world that dont bully? Im with Dunedan...there are lots of people I dont care for and dislike immensley but the closest I get to acknowleding their drivel is to express how assinine I might think it is.
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I think that we need to agree on what we're calling "bullying" because I think that my definition may be broader than what you guys are using. In bullying, I include the "stop hitting yourself" game that younger brothers everywhere fear, especially when the victim hates it. Or teasing someone because of their clothes, hair, voice, ethnic group, walk, lack of athletic skills, etc., with the caveat that it's not done to a friend and to the person's face. In my experience, everyone is guilty of it at one point or another with the most likely time being under age 10. It's not limited to "attacking (victims), call[ing] them obscene names, threaten[ing] them and their siblings in public" by any means, although it most certainly includes that. Certainly having the crap beaten out of you because you're wearing the wrong colored shirt qualifies, but doesn't being called a "fag" without the accompanying beating?
I'm sure that it's possible to go through life without ever making yourself feel superior to someone by belittling them verbally or physically, but I think its very unusual. I'm around kids all the time, and I see it constantly. The key is to keep it as friendly as possible and to make sure that no one's feelings are hurt too badly. It doesn't happen every day in our program, but it certainly happens every week. It's a fencing program so we don't have any issues with physical bullying since everyone gets a chance to fence everyone else. As a coach/judge, I have to say that there's a statistically significant number of touches disallowed for kids we think are guilty of bullying, though.
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Originally Posted by The_Dunedan
All this proves is that this kid was a popular asshole; most bullies are, in my experiance. One of the things that makes them feel they can bully people is that they frequently have loads of friends...who also make conveniant witnesses should they get hauled in.
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Bullying has absolutely nothing to with friends. Having friends back them up may enable them, but it certainly doesn't cause bullying or even contribute to it. I have lots of friends and I'm not a bully. My brother has no friends, and he's one of the biggest bullies I've ever met, including the guys who stuffed me in lockers. You're missing my point - while you are busy condemning bullies as subhuman and deserving of immediate inpatient psyciatric care, I'm just stating the obvious point that kids with otherwise good characters are sometimes bullies. Bullying has little to do with who the victim is and much more to do with the self-esteem of the bully.
Adult bullying is a much different story since you have the added stress of sex. I don't know if I'd call a husband beating an estranged wife a case of "bullying". I'm not sure what label I'd give it, but I'm not comfortable lumping together a husband who beats his wife into a coma and a 5-year old who pushes another kid out of the sandbox.