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Originally Posted by The_Dunedan
Bullies understand sanctions. The schools are usually unwilling or unable to provide them: Suspension is just a 5-day vacation after which they kick the shit out of you again, and a "good talking to" from the principal or "guidance counselor" is just a break from class after which they kick the shit out of you again. If the school cannot or will not supply the sanction, then the victim must. And since bullies are not known for listening to reason, that sanction must come in a form they will listen to; namely instant and irresistable violence. I spent 1-10th Grade getting beaten up and harassed on a daily basis; that stopped only after I very publically thrashed three of the kids who were responsible. Involving adults had only gotten me beaten up worse; the teachers and principal did jack shit to help me or any of the other dozen or so kids I knew who were in a similar situation.
As for involving the bullies' parents, that's fine...until the parent won't admit that their precious Tommy could do such a thing, or they expess approval because your child "must have done something to deserve it" or suchlike. Worse, sometimes you encounter parents who approve of their child's bullying, because your child is "a pussy" or a member of a racial minority.
As for the sanity of bullies, I happen to agree with you; no sane person acts that way. To deliberately and maliciously torment another human being who has done you no wrong is not the act of a sane person. In my opinion, it borders on sociopathy.
Bullies may be children and people, but they're children and people who physically attack and violate their victims, people who never did them harm. Such behavior should not be met with half-measures that do nothing to discourage it.
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My friend, I'm beginning to think you see the world through colored glasses. Not necessarily rose-colored but colored nonetheless.
Are you honestly going to tell us that you never bullied anyone at all? Not a younger sibling or classmate? It doesn't have to be to the extent of what Kelsie or even you yourself went through, but honestly you never picked on anyone at all? It's an unfortunate part of human nature that the weak sometimes have to suffer at the hands of the strong. Christianity, Islam and Buddhism all attempt to explain and/or correct this phenomenon in one way or another. Calling someone insane because they're bullying someone is a pretty inflamatory statement that just can't be backed up by facts.
If you're getting beaten up, responding in kind is absolutely the right response. I don't think that many people familiar with real world problems would argue with you should you defend yourself. Taunts and verbal harrassment, however, should never be met with violence. It's just not the way we behave in a civilized society. If that's the way you're going to response, I'll be the first to label you a sociopath.
Obviously I don't know the details of what happened to you beyond what you shared above, but I can tell you that you responded appropriately to their violence, but not to their taunts. Clearly the violence trumps the taunts, but it's a distinction that I want to make. Visiting violence upon someone because they hurt your feelings is completely unacceptable and should be punished. Defending yourself should never be punished.
Beating someone up is rarely the answer, especially if it's virtually impossible. The whole point of this thread is how to stop the harrassment. As I said before, a 6th grade girl is going to have the hard time kicking the ass of a 7th grade boy, so we can immediately eliminate your offered solution since it would most likely either result in an even worse beating for Kelsie or an immediate suspension since she'd have to start the fight to get the drop on him. If the system isn't working to protect your child, move up the line. Get an attorney involved. It's a pretty rare bully that would violate a court order to go after another child.