Well, since I was asked nicely
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Originally Posted by Elphaba
Clinical depression is found in my family also, and my youngest sister and I are unable to function without medication.
There are a couple of issues that I have regarding the article and the term "mental illness."
"Mental" is a meaningless term given the current understanding of brain chemistry disorders and likely explains the disparity between men and women in reported depression. "Mental" implies a personal weakness that is rejected by men of my cohort. You simply "pull yourself up by the boot straps" and be a "man." It should be no surprise that older men make up the group most at risk for suicide. Older women are often told by their general physicians to just put on a happy face, get a hobby, etc.
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"Mental illness" isn't really accurate for depression and related anxiety disorders, at least in their milder forms. "Emotional disorder" is a better way of describing things. In most cases, it's a matter of brain chemistry being a bit off in such a way that incoming data aren't processed the way they should be. There is a cognitive element to it, but the cognitive element tends to reflect an exaggerated reaction to ordinary stimuli.
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The "mind" is nothing more than a construct and doesn't exist in reality. The brain and how it functions is very real. "Love," often associated with the heart, is another construct, but no one refers to a "love illness."
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No, but there are emotional disorders that can intefere with one's ability to connect with others and maintain those connections in a healthy way.
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I was impressed that the article emphasized the importance of family dynamics in regards to a depressed family member. The article is not intended to be inclusive of all research concerning family/illness dynamics, so I feel compelled to point out the cause/effect fallacy that may be in play. I am a proponent of Family Systems Theory for psych interventions. I recommend attention should be focused upon the family dynamics prior to the diagnosis of depression. The basic question is whether the family has an invested interest in the member being "sick?"
I would appreciate Gilda's thoughts on this in that she has looked deeply into her family dynamics through therapy.
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Well, let's see. I can recount far more incidents that I care to admit over the past few years (the most recent recounted in my journal) in which my depression and anxiety disorders (which are closely linked) have managed to impair not only my ability to function, but that of my family. We've cancelled any number of social engagements because I was feeling too down or too anxious to go, and I've managed to be a black hole that sucks all the fun out of the room on some occasions when I have gone. I know that worrying about me, or walking on eggshells around me when I'm in one of my really severe PMS bouts (another related condition, PMDD) it can make things difficult for those around me because they're afraid to be themselves for fear of setting me off, not in anger, but in bouts of deep sadness.
At the same time, fixing me and helping me cope became a family project. Grace has held my hand through a great many dinners and trips to the theater or to go dancing or to a restaurant, while at the same time continually pushing me to move beyond my current comfort zone. It's probably not what you're looking for in a partner, a job as a life coach, but Grace thinks of it as a phase. We're in the early stages of our marriage, together five years, and we have decades. It's like an investment in our emotional future.
It's not all been smooth sailing. Sometimes I've managed to suck her into a cycle of dependancy with me, and sometimes she's pushed too hard and it's backfired on both of us, and we've left social engagements I wasn't ready for more times than I'd really like to admit.
It's better than with my boyfriends, though. It would drive them nuts to find me unwilling to do anything but stay home and brood or to have their girlfriend suddenly get quiet and even moody and sullen in a social situation.
With Sissy it was a bit different. Her problems when she came to live with us were so much bigger than mine (or so I saw it) that when dealing with her, I had to set aside my problems, which usually meant bottling them up, so I could support her, and that at time gave me strength, and at times drained me. It helped me to learn to center my attention on someone else in my private life
Now the situation is somewhat reversed in some ways. Her transition is finished and she fully assimilated and she has become part of my treatment team. My family, strange as it is, is so functional and supportive that it's almost like the anti version of my birth family.
I'm not sure if that makes sense or not. My mind goes off on its own sometimes when I start to write.
Gilda