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Based on having a son that was mis-diagnosed ADD when he was 7, I have a lot of experience with bi-polar. Also, my mother-in-law has the same thing.
You for sure don't want to engage in any form of self medication. That is a slippery slope to drug addiction. 80-90% of drug addicts have a mental illness and most bi-polar or depression.
You need to see a shrink for the meds and a therapist for the mental part of things. And you need to be totally, 100% open with these people as they are there to help you. Find someone you can build trust with.
And for God's sake, the only advice you should take from anyone here is to see a doctor!!
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