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I find those memory foam things to be worse, actually. They compress and just stay there... not great for me. I end up with a tension headache because I feel like I slept on a rock all night.
The heat and cold thing is a hard one. Most likely, you'll want heat to loosen the muscles. One of those microwavable flax seed pillows works nicely. But if you've injured yourself, that's generally an inflammation and you want to ice it, not heat it. So a source of trouble is helpful to decide which is better.
Try going back to a cushy pillow. If you sleep on your side, you need one that's pretty thick - think about the mechanics. Are you going to sleep well if your neck is bent too much one way or the other? No. The pillow needs to make up the width of your shoulder.
Find a girl who gives massages. Or start hanging out with theater and dance people, they massage each other constantly.
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My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.
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