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Originally Posted by abaya
I agree, but I don't know what "feels good" to me in this case. It doesn't feel good to have to change my name when the man isn't expected to do anything, either. But then again, I can't think of any viable alternative (I don't like hyphens or whatever). The way the system is, it seems that ONE name wins out, unless you're willing to hyphenate, which is frickin' annoying. So it's just "easier" to go along with the man's name, for practical reasons, and to try and ignore all the ideological shit that comes with it.
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That sounds a little ... competitive? Is that what you meant to say?
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It doesn't feel good to have to change my name when the man isn't expected to do anything ...
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No single thing is ever exactly equal in a marriage. Someone will always make more money, or do more housework, or have more friends. And someone might change their last name. Marriage is not about exact equality in each and every little thing, it is about equality and respect in the overall scheme of things.
I think in many places now it is very much easier to keep your maiden name as you have to go through a process to get all your IDs changed. I know in Quebec, it is quite an ordeal and most women now just keep the maiden name.
Anyway, it's what you have to live with until the divorce (just kidding!) so make sure you like your decision. I guess it is easy to keep your own name then switch if you so desire. It is harder (sans divorce) to take his name, then decide you made the wrong move and go back to the maiden name.
Good luck!