Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post

hambone · 08-29-2006, 07:44 AM

I like all the above views on this.

Only other thing I can add is that for me its all about adaptation. Historically, I was unchanging and would only socialize with my core group of friends because that was my comfort zone, they defined me as I knew me and that worked well.

However, once college hit, those friends were absent, I was thrown into the social pool anew. At first I went through a period of mild depression and feeling sorry for myself and outcast by others. Constantly questioning why I couldn't enjoy myself, but at the same time not wanting to stoop to what I saw as a lower level of intellectual behavior or childishness.

Then one day that questioning really hit me. Why couldn't I enjoy myself? Did partaking in seemingly meaninless conversations and interactions really 'dumb me down'? Were these people really that different from me in acuality?

So I adapted. When I hung out with my friends who liked sports, I would listen and try and see what they enjoyed about it. I still may not say much, but I enrolled myself into their worlds, a spectator at first, a participant later. Now I still don't enjoy sports all that much, BUT I am now comfortable being around such talk, I can add tidbits here and there, and I feel included. I used this approach for all the different groups I interacted with.

Am I saying you should change or compromise what makes you YOU, or that you should force yourself to be someone you are not? Absolutely not. All I am saying is be open, be non-judgemental, be understanding and willing to branch out. Things may still not turn out to be your cup of tea, but at least you gave it a whirl, you opened yourself up to a new experience and that is what matters. People are attracted to that.

Best of luck, bud.

08-29-2006, 07:44 AM	#12 (permalink)
hambone Zeroed In Location: CA	I like all the above views on this. Only other thing I can add is that for me its all about adaptation. Historically, I was unchanging and would only socialize with my core group of friends because that was my comfort zone, they defined me as I knew me and that worked well. However, once college hit, those friends were absent, I was thrown into the social pool anew. At first I went through a period of mild depression and feeling sorry for myself and outcast by others. Constantly questioning why I couldn't enjoy myself, but at the same time not wanting to stoop to what I saw as a lower level of intellectual behavior or childishness. Then one day that questioning really hit me. Why couldn't I enjoy myself? Did partaking in seemingly meaninless conversations and interactions really 'dumb me down'? Were these people really that different from me in acuality? So I adapted. When I hung out with my friends who liked sports, I would listen and try and see what they enjoyed about it. I still may not say much, but I enrolled myself into their worlds, a spectator at first, a participant later. Now I still don't enjoy sports all that much, BUT I am now comfortable being around such talk, I can add tidbits here and there, and I feel included. I used this approach for all the different groups I interacted with. Am I saying you should change or compromise what makes you YOU, or that you should force yourself to be someone you are not? Absolutely not. All I am saying is be open, be non-judgemental, be understanding and willing to branch out. Things may still not turn out to be your cup of tea, but at least you gave it a whirl, you opened yourself up to a new experience and that is what matters. People are attracted to that. Best of luck, bud. __________________ "Like liquid white from fallen glass, Nothing to cry over"