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monkeysugar · 08-28-2006, 06:12 PM

I understand that it is difficult to be in an environment that is different from what you are used to. You have to gain some confidence in yourself and just put yourself out there. Being quiet is fine. But it gets kind of lonely, as you are experiencing. Bear in mind that the dorms are typically full of first year students, who are generally in the 17-19 year old age group. Their life experiences and maturity levels might be a little different from yours at this point in time. There are probably also some cultural differences as well. This is a good thing. It can give you something to talk about. While the dining centers are often a place to socialize, they are not always the best place to find intelligent, stimulating conversation. My friends and I had lots of conversations about nothing, because we had been studying and going to class for a large part of the day (most of the time...LOL) and just needed to goof off.

Pretty much every college has a lot of different activities and clubs that cover an extremely wide range of interests. Find something you like, and join up! The big thing is, you're going to have to put yourself out there. I'm sure the people you eat with don't dislike you. If anything, they probably don't really know what to say or do around you. They probably don't know why you sit by them if you aren't going to talk to them. If you want to make friends, you have to talk to people. To do this, you have to have confidence. Bottom line: It really doesn't matter what they think about you. There are a lot of people out there who will if they get the chance to get to know you. The ones who don't? It's their loss.

Things probably aren't just going to happen on their own. Learn to have fun. Find things that interest you and do them. Leave the house, put the books down every once in a while, and don't feel guilty about having a good time. You want things to change? Make them change. Feeling sorry for yourself will only make things worse.

08-28-2006, 06:12 PM	#3 (permalink)
monkeysugar I'll be on the veranda, since you're on the cross. Location: Rand McNally's friendliest small town in America. They must have strayed from the dodgy parts...	I understand that it is difficult to be in an environment that is different from what you are used to. You have to gain some confidence in yourself and just put yourself out there. Being quiet is fine. But it gets kind of lonely, as you are experiencing. Bear in mind that the dorms are typically full of first year students, who are generally in the 17-19 year old age group. Their life experiences and maturity levels might be a little different from yours at this point in time. There are probably also some cultural differences as well. This is a good thing. It can give you something to talk about. While the dining centers are often a place to socialize, they are not always the best place to find intelligent, stimulating conversation. My friends and I had lots of conversations about nothing, because we had been studying and going to class for a large part of the day (most of the time...LOL) and just needed to goof off. Pretty much every college has a lot of different activities and clubs that cover an extremely wide range of interests. Find something you like, and join up! The big thing is, you're going to have to put yourself out there. I'm sure the people you eat with don't dislike you. If anything, they probably don't really know what to say or do around you. They probably don't know why you sit by them if you aren't going to talk to them. If you want to make friends, you have to talk to people. To do this, you have to have confidence. Bottom line: It really doesn't matter what they think about you. There are a lot of people out there who will if they get the chance to get to know you. The ones who don't? It's their loss. Things probably aren't just going to happen on their own. Learn to have fun. Find things that interest you and do them. Leave the house, put the books down every once in a while, and don't feel guilty about having a good time. You want things to change? Make them change. Feeling sorry for yourself will only make things worse. __________________ I've got the love of my life and a job that I enjoy most of the time. Life is good.