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xCss · 08-28-2006, 05:31 PM

Hi,

I need some feedback on what i'm about to post, or i might need to go see a shrink. No jokes please.

Okay, i moved to this new country for studies. And i am now living in the dorm, where the dining ( for all meals really ) area is where ppl group up and 'socialise'. The thing is, i don't really feel like talking much, and everyone seems to know each other already, so i usually find a relatively empty table to sit at. Well, the place is kinda full, so i end up sitting at a full table anyway. So the chatter begins. But i find the stuff that ppl talk about r so boring and pointless. Stuff like 'why is there onion in my soup?' or 'i like urban dictionary, it has cheesy in it' or 'hmm, this doesnt taste like chicken, haha'. the conversation goes no where, and the topics are usually stuff u dont even talk about. its like they all have 'low latent inhibition' or whatever and start talking about the very crumb on the table. its like this everyday for lunch and dinner, and i tend to just stay quiet and smile when they make some lame jokes and talk about something 'new' they discovered.

So then i've been thinking, or noticing, the ppl i usually sit with must think im an oddball. or at least i feel like one. i dont even always say 'bye' when i leave the table anymore. im starting to avoid them, and they wouldnt sit with me if they had a choice. and its this feeling that hurts. i dont care if i dont have anyone to talk, im fine with that. but i kind of mind what others think of me. and now im stuck in between. is it my fault? im already planning to take late dinners just so i dont have to feel the same way at the table again. i made acquaintances, but not friends. i just dont feel like talking, especially when the subject is so boring. maybe its just that i find things boring and unstimulating? i dont really wanna go on like this for the remaining months here, its torturing. im not sure if u understand what i mean. i was always the quieter type, tho not like now, cuz i had the same bunch of frens in the same school all the way to college. but im usually alone at home and stuff, so i end up the quieter one in a group. im fine with that, but how do people perceive me? its not funny when u spend everyday of the year alone. its depressing, especially when ppl give u that look like they're saying 'its him again'.

Its kind of like that one guy who said ' Even in a crowd, i feel lonely.'

thanks for reading.

08-28-2006, 05:31 PM	#1 (permalink)
xCss Upright	No place for me? Hi, I need some feedback on what i'm about to post, or i might need to go see a shrink. No jokes please. Okay, i moved to this new country for studies. And i am now living in the dorm, where the dining ( for all meals really ) area is where ppl group up and 'socialise'. The thing is, i don't really feel like talking much, and everyone seems to know each other already, so i usually find a relatively empty table to sit at. Well, the place is kinda full, so i end up sitting at a full table anyway. So the chatter begins. But i find the stuff that ppl talk about r so boring and pointless. Stuff like 'why is there onion in my soup?' or 'i like urban dictionary, it has cheesy in it' or 'hmm, this doesnt taste like chicken, haha'. the conversation goes no where, and the topics are usually stuff u dont even talk about. its like they all have 'low latent inhibition' or whatever and start talking about the very crumb on the table. its like this everyday for lunch and dinner, and i tend to just stay quiet and smile when they make some lame jokes and talk about something 'new' they discovered. So then i've been thinking, or noticing, the ppl i usually sit with must think im an oddball. or at least i feel like one. i dont even always say 'bye' when i leave the table anymore. im starting to avoid them, and they wouldnt sit with me if they had a choice. and its this feeling that hurts. i dont care if i dont have anyone to talk, im fine with that. but i kind of mind what others think of me. and now im stuck in between. is it my fault? im already planning to take late dinners just so i dont have to feel the same way at the table again. i made acquaintances, but not friends. i just dont feel like talking, especially when the subject is so boring. maybe its just that i find things boring and unstimulating? i dont really wanna go on like this for the remaining months here, its torturing. im not sure if u understand what i mean. i was always the quieter type, tho not like now, cuz i had the same bunch of frens in the same school all the way to college. but im usually alone at home and stuff, so i end up the quieter one in a group. im fine with that, but how do people perceive me? its not funny when u spend everyday of the year alone. its depressing, especially when ppl give u that look like they're saying 'its him again'. Its kind of like that one guy who said ' Even in a crowd, i feel lonely.' thanks for reading.