Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post

Sultana · 08-25-2006, 07:41 AM

It boils down to this:
A) They are treating you badly. They are not respecting you.
You don't have a reason why that makes sense to you, but the fact is it doesn't really matter. There never will be a good enough reason. They cannot justify it. It is not justifiable.

B) You have a decision to make. Accept it, or Do Not Accept it.
Obviously you cannot be true to yourself and accept it, which is healthy. There are different ways to "Not Accept" this behavior. The number one way is to remove yourself from the immediate situation. You cannot control or change anyone else, only yourself. It's time *you* set the boundaries for how people are allowed to treat you, it's part of becoming an adult. And part of that is realizing that you may not please other people with your boundaries, and you know what? That's OK. You are in no way obligated to please anyone else with how you live your life (short of legal requirements)--and you CANNOT please others. If you live your life trying to please others regardless of how you feel about things, you doom yourself to an unhappy life and YOU STILL WILL NOT PLEASE THEM. Believe me when I tell you you can live your life sacrificing everything that makes you happy, everything that's important to you, one concept at a time, and at the end you will have lost yourself and *They* will still be unhappy. *They* will still want more.

C) It is time that *you* decide if something is a stupid reason to get mad or whatever, not your parents. It's part of becoming an adult.
Anger is not bad. It's not good. It's just an emotion. Now how you choose to deal with it can be classified as good or bad, I suppose. You can use the momentum that Anger generates to make positive changes in your life.
You know how when you fly, when the flight attendants go through the safety procedures and they tell you that if the oxygen masks deploy, even if you are traveling with children, you must put your own mask on first, and *then* take care of the others? That's because you MUST TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST, or you are worse than useless to the others, no matter how much you love them and want to help them.
Of course that is a limited analogy, as they all are, but it illustrates the point.

08-25-2006, 07:41 AM	#16 (permalink)
Sultana Falling Angel Location: L.A. L.A. land	It boils down to this: A) They are treating you badly. They are not respecting you. You don't have a reason why that makes sense to you, but the fact is it doesn't really matter. There never will be a good enough reason. They cannot justify it. It is not justifiable. B) You have a decision to make. Accept it, or Do Not Accept it. Obviously you cannot be true to yourself and accept it, which is healthy. There are different ways to "Not Accept" this behavior. The number one way is to remove yourself from the immediate situation. You cannot control or change anyone else, only yourself. It's time you set the boundaries for how people are allowed to treat you, it's part of becoming an adult. And part of that is realizing that you may not please other people with your boundaries, and you know what? That's OK. You are in no way obligated to please anyone else with how you live your life (short of legal requirements)--and you CANNOT please others. If you live your life trying to please others regardless of how you feel about things, you doom yourself to an unhappy life and YOU STILL WILL NOT PLEASE THEM. Believe me when I tell you you can live your life sacrificing everything that makes you happy, everything that's important to you, one concept at a time, and at the end you will have lost yourself and They will still be unhappy. They will still want more. C) It is time that you decide if something is a stupid reason to get mad or whatever, not your parents. It's part of becoming an adult. Anger is not bad. It's not good. It's just an emotion. Now how you choose to deal with it can be classified as good or bad, I suppose. You can use the momentum that Anger generates to make positive changes in your life. You know how when you fly, when the flight attendants go through the safety procedures and they tell you that if the oxygen masks deploy, even if you are traveling with children, you must put your own mask on first, and then take care of the others? That's because you MUST TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST, or you are worse than useless to the others, no matter how much you love them and want to help them. Of course that is a limited analogy, as they all are, but it illustrates the point. __________________ "Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." - Matt Groening My goal? To fulfill my potential.