Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - She still loves me but wants to see another person

Jinn · 08-22-2006, 10:13 AM

I can understand walking away from the relationship and never coming back, but I'm not understanding why there should be any "anger" or "resentment" towards your female friend. You should walk away because you're not interested in her anymore, or because you don't want to be in a relationship with someone who behaves in a such a manner. That doesn't mean she's evil or that you should hate her --

She's NOT yours. People can never be expected to act out of anything other than their own interests. Sometimes, people can act altruistically or selflessly, but you cannot EXPECT them to.

Despite the claim that love is putting someone elses' feelings before your own, you're still in the relationship because it's beneficial to you. If it wasn't, why would you even bother? Just to bolster her happiness? Not unless you enjoy being used.

If she feels that she can have a happier life elsewhere, isn't it incredibly selfish to stop her? You need her so bad that she can't leave you? You're impeding HER happiness in a selfish need for her.

If she was so perfect for you, then she wouldn't be leaving. You might be hot shit, but that doesn't mean that you're a perfect match. I'm sure there is another person who is a better fit for you, too. Or maybe she's the fit, but she needs to prove it to herself empirically.

I can see leaving, and I can seeing sad. But I can't see being mad at her. I think if you truly love someone, you love them regardless of whether they're with you or not. If someone I love did something that benefitted them, I'd be happy for them -- not upset that they're not with me.

EDIT: not as applicable in light of the recent update, but I left it for general sake

08-22-2006, 10:13 AM	#22 (permalink)
Jinn Lover - Protector - Teacher Location: Seattle, WA	I can understand walking away from the relationship and never coming back, but I'm not understanding why there should be any "anger" or "resentment" towards your female friend. You should walk away because you're not interested in her anymore, or because you don't want to be in a relationship with someone who behaves in a such a manner. That doesn't mean she's evil or that you should hate her -- She's NOT yours. People can never be expected to act out of anything other than their own interests. Sometimes, people can act altruistically or selflessly, but you cannot EXPECT them to. Despite the claim that love is putting someone elses' feelings before your own, you're still in the relationship because it's beneficial to you. If it wasn't, why would you even bother? Just to bolster her happiness? Not unless you enjoy being used. If she feels that she can have a happier life elsewhere, isn't it incredibly selfish to stop her? You need her so bad that she can't leave you? You're impeding HER happiness in a selfish need for her. If she was so perfect for you, then she wouldn't be leaving. You might be hot shit, but that doesn't mean that you're a perfect match. I'm sure there is another person who is a better fit for you, too. Or maybe she's the fit, but she needs to prove it to herself empirically. I can see leaving, and I can seeing sad. But I can't see being mad at her. I think if you truly love someone, you love them regardless of whether they're with you or not. If someone I love did something that benefitted them, I'd be happy for them -- not upset that they're not with me. EDIT: not as applicable in light of the recent update, but I left it for general sake __________________ "I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel Last edited by Jinn; 08-22-2006 at 10:16 AM..