Mantus

The badass is just an example I gave of a guy who doesn't care about seeking approval from other people. You don't have to be a jerk, you just have to stop thinking about getting on her good side and start pressenting your natural self. The issue here is that you'll be taking a risk. She might not like your lifestyle, your hobbies, your values or you beliefs. On top of that if you are true to yourself you'll have standards and SHE might not meet them. This is where approval seeking guys go wrong; not only do they try to be someone else but they end up betrying their own standars and values in order to accomodate the girl into their world. People can feel when you are being phoney because you come across incongruent.

So how do you approach then? Well ask yourself what you wish from the interaction? Do you wish to have fun? Do you wish to flirt? Do you wish to make a connection? Do you wish to make a friend? Be genuine about your intent. Do do this indirect bullshit of first getting their approval and then being who you are. Just be who you are.

Like with match's smile example. You could be smiling at people because you are having a good time and want to share that experience or perhaps that person actually made you feel good and you want to express that. But if you just smile for the sake of dissarming them, because you actually want something else from them, people will feel that.