Top. Dominate. That's you, Foxy.
All others take note: This, right here, is the portrait of a Dominate, in sub/Dom relationships. The immense teasing, the built-up anticipation to the boiling point, the ultimate control over the intimacy... this is a Dominate. She's not insane or abusive, or any of the other things you're calling her... she's a Dom. That's the lifestyle, that's the way of thinking, feeling, and acting with your lover.
To Foxy: If you don't already know it, I officially declare you to be a Dominate. It seems, at least for the moment, that you found someone to be your sub. Good job.