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longbough · 08-14-2006, 05:54 PM

Sexual frustration can kill a relationship, too.

I had an ex-gf who was a lingerie model (no kidding) before she met me. She was both elegant and sexy and we laughed a lot together. Sex was fantastic. But somewhere along the way our sexual "barometers" got out of synch. It seemed that she was most in the mood when we were fighting ... and rarely in the mood when we were at peace. On the other hand, if I was pissed-off, then sex was the last thing on my mind. And I wanted to be sexual when things were great but she turned me down at those times.

She needed "drama" in the house to arouse her sexual tension. But, unfortunately, we were together while I was in my medical residency. And after a day working in the Emergency Department or Intensive Care where I dealt with pain, suffering and death all day the last thing I needed at home was "drama." In the end she was always provoking me to argue with her on purpose. I feel sorry that she had to deal with me as an emotionally fatigued guy in my residency. I broke up with her because I nearly had a meltdown between the stress of work and the fighting at home.

When I finished my residency and was working steadily (in a less stressful setting) we tried to get back together. This time she didn't feel like provoking drama because I was myself again. But, I then discovered, that when we got together in bed, I discovered I had been psychologically conditioned to expect disappointment and I just didn't feel very "sexual" with her anymore. It's as if getting in bed to her only reminded me of all the things we used to fight about. It's really awful to admit because she was a complete knockout and we shared so much. It's like we forgave each other in our hearts and minds ... but the libido didn't forget.

We broke up for good. But we're still friends.

08-14-2006, 05:54 PM	#42 (permalink)
longbough Soylent Green is people. Location: Northern California	Sexual frustration can kill a relationship, too. I had an ex-gf who was a lingerie model (no kidding) before she met me. She was both elegant and sexy and we laughed a lot together. Sex was fantastic. But somewhere along the way our sexual "barometers" got out of synch. It seemed that she was most in the mood when we were fighting ... and rarely in the mood when we were at peace. On the other hand, if I was pissed-off, then sex was the last thing on my mind. And I wanted to be sexual when things were great but she turned me down at those times. She needed "drama" in the house to arouse her sexual tension. But, unfortunately, we were together while I was in my medical residency. And after a day working in the Emergency Department or Intensive Care where I dealt with pain, suffering and death all day the last thing I needed at home was "drama." In the end she was always provoking me to argue with her on purpose. I feel sorry that she had to deal with me as an emotionally fatigued guy in my residency. I broke up with her because I nearly had a meltdown between the stress of work and the fighting at home. When I finished my residency and was working steadily (in a less stressful setting) we tried to get back together. This time she didn't feel like provoking drama because I was myself again. But, I then discovered, that when we got together in bed, I discovered I had been psychologically conditioned to expect disappointment and I just didn't feel very "sexual" with her anymore. It's as if getting in bed to her only reminded me of all the things we used to fight about. It's really awful to admit because she was a complete knockout and we shared so much. It's like we forgave each other in our hearts and minds ... but the libido didn't forget. We broke up for good. But we're still friends. Last edited by longbough; 08-14-2006 at 05:57 PM..