abaya

I guess you're asking me, Mal, so I'll answer.

It's not so much a matter of other people's sex lives being my business, but more a matter of why we all have to be so secretive and ashamed of talking about it. If sex was as approachable a topic as most other things that people have in common, I think we could all learn a lot from each other's experiences.

On that note, I don't think I ever said I thought I was doing it "right" or better than anyone else. If I did, I apologize. Hence the learning from others part. If I didn't read about or talk about orgasms with my female and male friends, I doubt I ever would have learned to have one. I didn't masturbate until well into my 20s, so I had no clue what I was doing. I really needed to learn from others if I was ever going to enjoy sex.

Maybe everyone is having perfectly happy sex lives where everyone is satisfied every time. Maybe I was the only exception, where sex was not very pleasant for me until I determined to understand myself and my partner, sometimes with outside sources. But I just can't believe that I was the only one not getting anything out of sex. I know that TONS of women, and men, are unsatisfied with their sex lives. How else are we going to resolve those issues unless we talk together... not just with our partners, but also with others who have been there? Maybe not over dinner, sure (though with some of our friends, it would be okay), but at least over a drink at a bar or something casual.

Hell, that was one of the best things we got out of TFP, back when we first joined... how to improve our sex lives. I always thought that was something that most people appreciated on this board.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran