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abaya · 08-14-2006, 05:33 AM

As a woman, I don't see the healthiness of "teasing" like this for an extended period of time. It's really quite cruel (unless it's for a very short period, like others have mentioned). I really do wonder how the guy feels, and how long this relationship will last.

I sort of acted like that in a previous relationship (when I was very young, 19) because I was "saving it for marriage," and even though I didn't do it diabolically (I wanted to stay "pure,") it drove the guy crazy. He wanted to save it for marriage, too, but he also wanted to get past first base... I still regret my behavior during that time. It took a few more years of growing up before I learned a more healthy approach to sexuality.

My current boyfriend, ktspktsp, and I have been together for about the same length of time as you and your boyfriend have, and there is no way in HELL that either of us would have stuck around with the kind of dynamics in your relationship. We both have too much self-respect to tolerate anything like that between us.

Sex is not a tool for us... it's something we enjoy mutually, and we only have it when both of us are in the mood and willing to have it. If sex became some kind of controlling mechanism or bartering tool... nope, one of us would have given the other the boot for sure.

Better watch your back for the karma gods...

08-14-2006, 05:33 AM	#20 (permalink)
abaya Location: Iceland	As a woman, I don't see the healthiness of "teasing" like this for an extended period of time. It's really quite cruel (unless it's for a very short period, like others have mentioned). I really do wonder how the guy feels, and how long this relationship will last. I sort of acted like that in a previous relationship (when I was very young, 19) because I was "saving it for marriage," and even though I didn't do it diabolically (I wanted to stay "pure,") it drove the guy crazy. He wanted to save it for marriage, too, but he also wanted to get past first base... I still regret my behavior during that time. It took a few more years of growing up before I learned a more healthy approach to sexuality. My current boyfriend, ktspktsp, and I have been together for about the same length of time as you and your boyfriend have, and there is no way in HELL that either of us would have stuck around with the kind of dynamics in your relationship. We both have too much self-respect to tolerate anything like that between us. Sex is not a tool for us... it's something we enjoy mutually, and we only have it when both of us are in the mood and willing to have it. If sex became some kind of controlling mechanism or bartering tool... nope, one of us would have given the other the boot for sure. Better watch your back for the karma gods... __________________ And think not you can direct the course of Love; for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. --Khalil Gibran Last edited by abaya; 08-14-2006 at 05:36 AM..