Why do I have a sneaking suspicion that you're just trying to provoke a flamefest?
Anyway, I've met and dated a few women who believed that keeping a guy "aroused and frustrated most of the time" will have him under their thumb. If you two are happy with this arrangement then more power to you. I hope it all works out.
But, I think your guy's response says less about the efficacy of your approach and more about the type of guy who would put up with this.
Let's face it. Any guy who buys that whole coy act is not a "man" but a "boy."
When I date a woman I let her know (implicitly and explicitly) that life's too short to play mind/emotional games ... and that she'll always know where she stands with me. Most mature women can appreciate it and treat me likewise.
Sometimes I find myself with someone who still thinks they have to play the mindgames that folks learn in high school. I leave that situation every time and don't look back - I don't need that. Without exception they end up calling back with flirtatious overtures to provoke my interest. I let them know in no uncertain terms that I'm not interested anymore and that we're still friends.
Let's take an analagous situation from a male perspective. If I treated a girlfriend terribly in public and constantly insulted her ... she just might be the type to stay with me if she had no self-esteem. It happens all the time. Can I boast that this is how a "man" should treat a "woman?" Of course not.
It's interesting to note that your measure of success is all about what YOU get out of the relationship. If your fella has any backbone he'll realize that both himself and you are only looking after YOUR interests. Some day he'll realize that nobody is looking after his own needs ... if he then happens to meet someone caring and attentive you might find yourself getting dumped... (and then, again, maybe not).