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Originally Posted by shesus
I feel that sex is important because as others pointed out it is an intimate thing that helps create and maintain a special bond between two people. And if you are married or serious, it is a bond that should be unique and special to just that couple. Of course, just sex isn't the most important, but also physical contact in general, which can be cuddling or other forms of physical contact.
This is very true. If you are with somebody and you are constantly thwarted, you start wondering why and those are the exact order of the feelings one would feel. Plus, it makes one think 'What is wrong with me?' Especially if low self-esteem has been an issue in the past. I think that this is one of the main factors that cause people to search for something outside the current relationship.
Communication is important, but once hurt and resentment is formed, communication begins to drop off as well. If you stated your feelings and you get a not-so positive response, why keep going on about it? People just disengage from the issue and either accept it how it is or think of other ways to fix the problem. And some of the solutions may be damaging.
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From a Biblical perspective, it is the sole reason for "marriage".
Genesis 2:24 (King James Version)
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24Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
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Most of the time men are the first to notice that sex is reduced or lacking. This isn't of course the rule, but women need to understand that sex is not optional in marriage. The promise doesn't end at forsaking all others, no it doesn't end there.
It assumes that each spouse will diligently see to the needs of the other.
1 Corinthians 7
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1Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
3Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
4The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
5Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
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So if you deprive your spouse of sex, then are you not going against Bible teachings? If your spouse then commits adultery or fornication, who is at fault? Based on this I say both.
I have no doubt that many have never seen these verses or been told this view of marriage. You wear the ring but don't know it's purpose. Everyone should read up on the history of this stuff.
Anyway my main point is, don't ever use money or sex as leverage in your relationship. It is a huge mistake.