Prince, have you considered sending the inlaws to go get the mailbox key (even if USPS won't give it to them) and spending their 2 hours out of the house nailing the wife? 
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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo
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