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desiderate_one · 08-01-2006, 08:42 AM

I have been grappling with the question "Do I deserve Love?" for some time now. I go back and forth on the answer and try to generate that I do deserve love. I decided to look deeper into the question. Deserve means "To be worthy of; merit," synonym "earn". Earn means "To gain especially for the performance of service, labor, or work; To acquire or deserve as a result of effort or action; To yield as a result or profit; To gain a position through hard work and the accumulation of experience, often in the face of difficulties."

Now I had the basis upon which to answer. I have been trying to work hard enough to be worthy of or merit love. I can see that this is a never ending cycle of trying and accumulating experience and facing difficulties all to DESERVE the love I want.

Then it hit me: I cannot work hard enough to earn or deserve a miracle. I need to be open to miracles happening to me. Being loved or loving another IS a miracle. What if I can allow myself to be undeserving and still be open to receiving love. I can just relax into being loved. I am released from all the hard work to earn this love or the facing difficulties to keep this love alive. This is the opening to real freedom and joy.

Of course, when I relax into being loved, fear often arises that I will not be enough, and the love will not last.

QUOTE: You keep thinking it's not going to last. Nothing so far has. Everything that's brought you to this point has been taken away, so, to will this. I fear this every day..."

This is a fundamental error in reality. Yes. It is true. Everything has been, and will continue to be taken away. That is the nature of reality. The sunset dissapears and is gone in a few moments. This year's vegetable crop yields it treats and withers. Newborns grow and become teenagers and eventually leave to create lives on their own. Everywhere we look is impermenance. To try to hold onto the sunset would be insane. To insist that a newborn does not grow and learn would be foolish and cause anguish. To think that love won't evolve is setting oneself up for great disappointment.

Still, having love taken away is only one future, and focusing on this inevitability will only bring it about sooner. The love will be taken away. He or you will die, and so the love will vanish. That much is certain. The love could vanish sooner than that, and I hear that you are worried about it being taken away prematurely. Perhaps the most productive focus could be on creating, being and giving love: giving your radiance, joy enthusiasm and attention. By the act of creating and being love, you will experience what it is that you want to experience. Since he is already giving you the love you want, he may be inspired to deepen his gift of presence, attention, appreciation, respect and adoration.

Still, its one thing kowing this. It is another living it. What a phenonomenal laboratory we live in!

08-01-2006, 08:42 AM	#21 (permalink)
desiderate_one Upright Location: The Bay Area, CA.	Do I deserve love: What a profound and confusing question I have been grappling with the question "Do I deserve Love?" for some time now. I go back and forth on the answer and try to generate that I do deserve love. I decided to look deeper into the question. Deserve means "To be worthy of; merit," synonym "earn". Earn means "To gain especially for the performance of service, labor, or work; To acquire or deserve as a result of effort or action; To yield as a result or profit; To gain a position through hard work and the accumulation of experience, often in the face of difficulties." Now I had the basis upon which to answer. I have been trying to work hard enough to be worthy of or merit love. I can see that this is a never ending cycle of trying and accumulating experience and facing difficulties all to DESERVE the love I want. Then it hit me: I cannot work hard enough to earn or deserve a miracle. I need to be open to miracles happening to me. Being loved or loving another IS a miracle. What if I can allow myself to be undeserving and still be open to receiving love. I can just relax into being loved. I am released from all the hard work to earn this love or the facing difficulties to keep this love alive. This is the opening to real freedom and joy. Of course, when I relax into being loved, fear often arises that I will not be enough, and the love will not last. QUOTE: You keep thinking it's not going to last. Nothing so far has. Everything that's brought you to this point has been taken away, so, to will this. I fear this every day..." This is a fundamental error in reality. Yes. It is true. Everything has been, and will continue to be taken away. That is the nature of reality. The sunset dissapears and is gone in a few moments. This year's vegetable crop yields it treats and withers. Newborns grow and become teenagers and eventually leave to create lives on their own. Everywhere we look is impermenance. To try to hold onto the sunset would be insane. To insist that a newborn does not grow and learn would be foolish and cause anguish. To think that love won't evolve is setting oneself up for great disappointment. Still, having love taken away is only one future, and focusing on this inevitability will only bring it about sooner. The love will be taken away. He or you will die, and so the love will vanish. That much is certain. The love could vanish sooner than that, and I hear that you are worried about it being taken away prematurely. Perhaps the most productive focus could be on creating, being and giving love: giving your radiance, joy enthusiasm and attention. By the act of creating and being love, you will experience what it is that you want to experience. Since he is already giving you the love you want, he may be inspired to deepen his gift of presence, attention, appreciation, respect and adoration. Still, its one thing kowing this. It is another living it. What a phenonomenal laboratory we live in!