Willravel

1. To me, Sex is:
a. something to be shared between two people in a loving, committed relationship
2. My favorite sex toy is powered by:
e. a small, self-contained nuclear power plant
(well it would be if I were female)
3. The last place I had sex was:
d. in an Esprit V8 going 160 mph through a mountain pass at midnight, with the lights off
4. I judge a man's sexuality by his:
e. network of scar patterns
(is this for women or something?)
5. What are the only utterly necessary steps of any sexul encounter?
d. foreplay, multiple mutual orgasms, intercourse, multiple mutual orgasms, intercourse, multiple mutual orgasms (repeat)
6. I judge a woman's sexuality solely by her:
d. hooters and willingness to have sex with me
7. How many of your lover's erogenous zones have you successfully located?
e. all of them, and I created three more
8. Judging from your own experience, what is the average length of a man's penis?
?!
9. How do you keep track of your lovers afterwards?
d. a dedicated computer database, online so it can be updated from anywhere, instantly
10. I learned about sex from:
b. my schoolmates
11. My first time was:
e. recorded by three separate amateur astronomers on two different continents as a new sighting
12. Safe sex means:
a. condoms, foam, those little rubber things the girl sticks in
13. What's the longest sex act you?ve ever experienced?
e. it began on Bastille Day, 1991, and has been peaking steadily since
14. You discover that your new lover is married. What do you do?
a. end it immediately, it's not worth the heartache
15. Oral sex is:
d. the very best way to say "good morning!"
16. How far will you go on a first date?
e. I might be willing to conceive a child, but the medical fees have to be Dutch treat
17. Anal sex is:
c. something to be approached with care, with someone you love and trust implicitly
18. I think the first time you make love to a new person, you should:
c. be respectful and get her aroused gradually, using just the one fist
19. If someone ever took nude pictures of you, how would you respond?
d. with tips on lighting and composition
16. After sex, how long do you wait until you tell your best friend?
e. I never tell, they can damn well buy the book like everybody else
Scoring
20 - 39 points: I'm sorry, but I'm afraid this website really isn't for you. Perhaps you might consider reading a nice religious tract, or keeping bees, or whatever it is that boring people do.

40 - 59 points: Not bad, not bad at all. You?re very nearly sexy enough to hang out with us, but you'd be, metaphorically speaking, the guy that always gets sent for beer.

60 - 79 points: Now we're getting somewhere. Sexy, adventurous, relatively uninhibited, selfish enough to be exciting in bed and insufferable everywhere else. You'd do anything someone asked you to, but you're not at your best when it comes to inventing your own moves. I'd do you and even admit to it afterwards.

80 - 99 points: Yow! You?re a smoking hottie and you've got rock stars hanging around your front doorstep waiting for you to come out. If only they knew your heart belongs to... well, you. You're impulsive, exciting, and ready to drop everything and go at it wherever you are. You'd bang the priest during your own funeral if you could get the book out of his hands, and we love you for it.

100 points: You are a sex god/dess, and I can only assume that your love slave filled out this questionnaire under your precisely screamed orders. You certainly wouldn't have had the time. You don't play at destroying marriages, you bring down governments. You are the destroyer manifested in supple flesh, and we kneel before you. Carefully. Or you're a total slut, but that's good too.