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A passing thought, why not automatically consider the man not to be a the father unless they opt in? Ok it is kinda odd however then the mother knows the guy wants to be a father and the whole process can be resolved nicely rather than having mothers name fathers and then the whole mess we have right now.
Edit:
Heck, if the father opts in you automatically have joint custody etc as its a shared parenting, otherwise custody is split appropriately.
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