An old lady dies and goes to heaven and is chatting to St Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful blood-curdling screams.
"Don't worry about that," says St. Peter, "it's only someone having the holes bored on their shoulder blades for the wings."
The old lady looks a little uncomfortable as St. Peter explains how Heaven works. Ten minutes later, there are more blood-curdling screams.
"Oh my God," says the old lady, "now what's happening"?
"Not to worry," says St. Peter, "they are just having their head drilled to fit the halo."
"I can't do this," says the old lady, "I'm off down to hell."
"You can't go there," says St. Peter, "you'll be raped and sodomized."
"Yes, but I've already got the holes for that."