It's true, I'm not.
"Why are you telling me this?" You might ask yourself.
Well, lately I have been 'accused' of being a woman. What happened, did I grow a vagina? Did my man boobs become too unruly and unmanageable? No. I am a woman, because:
1. I don't like sports.
It's true, I don't like most of them. I can hardly stand to watch football, hockey, baseball, soccer, basketball... To me, they are just boring. Large men competing for something that I just don't care about is boring.
2. I was watching the style channel.
Again, I should really just turn in my penis for this sin. I can't talk my way out of this, yeah, every so often, watching Extreme Makeover or What Not to Wear isn't so bad. It's entertaining to see some frumpy 35 year old mom get made over and then see everyone's reaction to it.
3. I am passive aggressive.
Well, not really, most of the time I am just passive. Tons of stuff make me mad, and 95/100 times I am over it within .2 seconds. Over many years of disappointments and let-downs, I have learned not to internalize. Which comes off as passive aggressive. This does not mean my feelings don't get hurt, trust me they do, but most of the time I don't have a care in the world.
4. I am sensitive.
Not emo, grow-my-hair-down-past-one-eye-cut-myself-because-a-flower-died sensitive, but more along the lines of romantically sensitive. I like to cuddle, I like to be romantic, I like to send flowers, and other crap like that. :-P But also the reverse, my feelings do sometimes get hurt easily, and I try to make sense of every little thing that happens by overanalyzing everything to the point where it loses any meaning it had in the first place.
I am sure there are many more, that I am just overlooking.
Ladies, don't take this as an insult, I am happy to be joining your club. We can go shopping, try on pants and talk about how fat our asses are getting. We can sit around and watch !E or the Gilmore Girls or whatever the devil it is you ladies are watching these days. Then we can eat ice cream and cry about god knows what and talk about whomever isn't there.
Maybe it's better this way, now I won't have to do anymore of that disgusting crap that I have to do while around my guy friends, like burping, farting, and making a general ass of myself. Now I can give stern looks whilst shaking my head at them, and commenting at their 'childish behavior'.
Yes, happy days have come at last. I have become a woman.
I hope you don't mind another lesbian...
Ok guys, time to fess up, how are you a woman? Every guy has something, womanish they hide... Some more than others. Express your inner vagina!
Tell your story!
