Thanks for the replies.
maleficient: Good idea about the consultation first - I will definitely do this next time!
*Nikki*: I have had many more bad experiences with the home color kits than at the salon. I know the cost is ten-fold for the salon, but I just do not know anyone who is really good at applying the home stuff - and I would definitely screw it up!
genuinegirly: Your idea of challenging them is absolutely perfect! That is something I can do. Also, I think in the future a friend would be absolutely vital in these situations. In the salon, I sometimes feel impulsive and ready for change, so I am receptive to what the stylists suggest (sometimes too receptive!). Having someone there to remind me why I am there and make me stick with my original (well-thought out plan) would be better. The stylist definitely picked up on my indecisive/insecure nature, but with ouside support, I would feel stronger.
Regarding dyeing blonde hair to brown: I have heard the brown often comes out muddy, so it is a bit more of a process. But it does seems like any colorist who knows what they are doing should be able to work with the right shades to get around this.
I am hesitant to try a temporary water-based dye on my hair right now because it is so light - it might not wash out as well and leave me with a weird stain for awhile. I work in a professional setting with patients, and it just does not seem like a good idea to risk this. Also, I will be going on a business trip next week, and that means lots of networking. I need all the confidence I can muster!!
About getting money back: I think this woman is really good with color, but she probably did see extreme blonde = $$$$. Would it be possible/smart to go back and ask her to add several lowlights free of charge to balance out the color? As I will not have money to allocate to my hair for awhile, it would be nice to fix it for the time being. I had a stylist who did blonde highlights before, which turned out yellowish, and he fixed it for free. I hate to ask for money back, after I agreed to pay for it, and am also very timid about this kind of thing. She did spend 3 hours, the color it nice (just not what I wanted/expected), etc.