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Old 07-12-2006, 01:03 PM   #28 (permalink)
abaya
 
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Location: Iceland
There are days when I would agree with the idea that the internet takes away from having close friends. Some of you saw my thread a while back on how I revile facebook, myspace, etc. (I still do, btw... friggin' cults!)

However, I've become more open to the fact that the internet is capable of opening up one's social group, rather than closing it. I have certainly met a few people here with whom I'd like to pursue a friendship in real life, if we lived closer together. Meeting those few people in person has been great.

But not all online friendships translate well into actual social interaction, and that's what I can't figure out. Sometimes there is something awkward/missing about going from the internet to real life... it feels somewhat unnatural to me. It's not negative, but I'm definitely not used to it yet, and I want to understand why it feels so awkward to me at times. Others seem to slide effortlessly from online to real life and back again... I am not one of those.

And so to me, internet social interaction is really not in the same category as real life social interaction. There is something qualitatively different about it... perhaps because we say things online that we might never say in real life, when meeting someone for the first time (or even knowing someone after 20 years). This quality makes me think that while the internet may not take away close friends, it is a different social beast entirely... I can't explain it.

I don't think one can replace real life social interaction with internet interaction, though one certainly go the other direction. I suppose one thing I do not like about internet interaction (or maybe I DO like it, unfortunately) is that one can always turn it "off." Internet friendships are almost always those of convenience; one can always escape from them, or escape TO them, whenever one desires. There is often no real commitment or discomfort required in online interaction; there is always, always the "off" switch. (And yes, I know this is not always the case, but I think most of you would agree that it's *typically* the case?)

There is no such freedom in real life; and thus in real life we are forced to deal with real people and either grow or regress in our social interaction. Which is the beauty (and misery) of real life. Hell is other people, right? But only in real life.

Certainly, many people do grow through online interactions... but I'd say that takes a great deal of desire to change oneself, and the internet is just a helpful tool for doing so, in that case. But

I think there can be something inherently harmful in creating an entire social life online, to the point of perhaps total isolation in real life... never initiating real life friendships because it's just "so much easier online." It's almost like internet socializing is "porn," where people go to feel better instead of facing the challenges of doing the same in real life. Of course, I am a fan of porn... but all things in moderation here. And I know that for myself, there are many days when I am totally addicted to the internet... and it's just as harmful to my life as being addicted to porn, or anything else.

I'm rambling here, so I don't know if this makes sense to anyone. Just trying to package my thoughts somehow about this.
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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

--Khalil Gibran

Last edited by abaya; 07-12-2006 at 01:07 PM..
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