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Originally Posted by Jimellow
So, as a result, I am cynical in many regards relating to opposite sex friendships. This view is based heavily on reality and experiences I've had, and thus I don't necessarily think my view is entirely out of line.
...One of the benefits about close friendships (even if they aren't mutual) is that you learn a lot about the opposite sex; and in many cases this information can be greatly beneficial in determining what you want and don't want out of future partners.
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You have interesting points, and you list the pro's and con's of being close-friends-only with girls.
Yet, although there is no black and white answer to this question: "be close friends? or if no date, no friendship?", it seems to me that this is one of those things that needs to be decided on a case to case basis.
On the one hand, you (we) don't want to be the fallback guy, on the otherhand you find that there are many things to be learned even in a close friends-only relationship (not just about the girl herself, but about future girls).
It seems to me the message here is that, if you are 'used' as a friend (ie contacted only in times of need, and ignored otherwise), then screw the friendship. but if not, the friendship is a valuable experience even without the dating... provided you yourself are
sincerely interested in having her
only as a friend.