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Originally Posted by xepherys
No, Gilda, but your arguments sound more like a "pity me because I'm different and misunderstood" more than anything else. I'm not trying to be a dick, but it applies quite simply to ALL people everywhere. In fact, many of your counter-points were fairly moot.
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If you're seeing "pity me" in what I've written, you are badly misreading the tone there.
If it applies to all people everywhere, then show me the soldiers who've been discharged for being straight. Show me the laws that prohibit straights from marrying. Show me the military policy prohibiting straights from discussing their sexuality. Show me where straights are required to sign a statement professing to be gay in order to enlist.
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First of all, by saying he's a Japanese-American (which makes no sense
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I'd have said Nisei, but that isn't as widely understood. He's an American of Japanese descent. Hyphenated identification of this sort typicially identifies one as ethnicity-American. In American English, modifiers typically preceed the word they are modifying, thus Japanese-American identifies one's nationality as American and ethnicity as Japanese.
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... I'm not an Irish American or a Ukrainian American... I'm just an American)
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Cool. I'm Irish and Ukranian, too, though my mom was actually of Russian, Ukranian and Chinese descent.
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you muddle the issue. Is he a naturalized American citizen born in Japan, or a second or later generation American of Japanese heritage?
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His family was living in a predominantly Japanese area of Hawaii when its goverment was overthrown and it was annexed to the United States, an area that remains predominantly Japanese. He is, I believe, third generation since the annexation. The family, and much of the area in which they live, retains much of the cultural heritage they had when annexed to the United States, including language and customs. I see no harm in acknowleging one's heritage along with one's nationality.
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If you lived in San Fransisco, do you think you'd have been denied housing due to your sexuality?
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And this supports my point. In certain areas of that city, no, of course not. Nor would a straight person. Clusters of GLBT people tend to be inclusive, not exclusive. We have several straight people in the GLBT organization at the University at which I teach, and we're glad to have them.
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The world is bigger than your town, your county or your state...
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No doubt. The fact that prejudice exists elsewhere does not mean that it should not be identified for what it is and opposed where it is found.
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Sorry sister, the poor poor me boat extends outside of the scope of sexuality, race and gender.
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I'm not your sister, and the condescension is neither necessary nor productive. If you need a polite form of direct address, Gilda will do nicely.
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But, unfortunately it seems to make many people feel better about themselves when they ARE in a minority to become the center of attention when they are treated differently.
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That's certainly not been what I've been saying. I think gays and straights should be treated equally, that homosexual relationships are the equal of heterosexual ones, that people should be free to serve or not to serve, and to do so openly, regardless of their orientaion.
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Originally Posted by xephrys
Gays and lesbians fall in the same category as mexicans and blacks, in my book, from a minority standpoint. You can't constantly insist on being equal (the same) while constantly trying to prove how different you are. Gays and lesbians (some, not all) are in the same boat. Many falunt the difference between being gay and being straight, and then wonder why people look at them differently.
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Originally Posted by Gilda
I hear this a lot, but I don't see it much. I do the same things with my wife and with my marriage that heterosexual people do. I make casual references to my wife. I have pictures of her on my desk at work. We hold hands in public and sometimes I'll give her a kiss goodbye as we're parting after lunch. If that is flaunting homosexuality, then the vast majority of opposite sex couples are flaunting their heterosexuality.
Sure there are the flamboyant types, but they are not representative. Most of us want to be treated the same. What I do with Grace is no more flaunting my sexuality than any heterosexual woman who does the same with her husband.
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What are you trying to prove? There are PLENTY of people that are offended by a man and a woman showing affection in public. People are going to stare and wonder regardless of you thinking you might be special, different or otherwise. You don't have it any better or worse than anyone else, and life is, quite literally, only what you make of it. |
Your latest statement is quite different from the original one to which I replied.
For the record, I believe my relationship to be the same as a married heterosexual couple, special to me certainly, but neither special nor different in a general sense.
First, to return to that original statment, being equal does not mean being the same. I like to celebrate differences, they give flavor and color and interest to life. I'd think that celebrating differences would be something that heterosexuals do a lot. Heck, it's part of the definition.
My point is that there is a double standard here for the same behaviors depending on who is exhibiting them. A homosexual couple is "flaunting thier sexuality" by holding hands, sitting on a bench together, dancing a slow dance at a club, displaying pictures in a locker or on a desk, while a heterosexual couple exhibiting the same behaviors usually goes unnoticed or unremarked, and I've never heard anyone describe any behavior as "flaunting heterosexuality". It becomes, as it did in your description, an inappropriate public display of affection. Or often just goes unnoticed.
It's an assumption, one I see and hear a lot, that such behaviors, when engaged in by homosexuals, are done for the purpose of advertising one's sexuality, when the same is not said of heterosexuals.
Gilda