Well... it's been eons since I posted anything, but this sure got me out of my shell.
I can't tell you about what you should do, but I can give you some facts as I see them.
First off.. Having a kid is a supremely scary task for a guy. We see all the responsibility and the rewards seem to be scarce. As we put it in our investment/returns calculator, it sucks ass. That being said, we're usually wrong. I can tell you that a kid will aggravate the holy hell out of you all day, keep you up all night, have no respect for your possessions or schedule, and generally change the very flavor of everything you do.
and it really doesn't matter! You'll give up almost anything for that nuzzle, and to feel the breath on the side of your neck.
Secondly, as a mom Ratbastid is automatically number 2- with a bullet! I miss my wife sometimes, but I'd rather have a great mom that a shitty mom that ignores my kids for me.
Thirdly- You have a helluva a lot less control over your kids than you think you will. I have three- and with each I thought that this would be the one that I was going to rear exactly like I wanted to. Well, parenting is a lot less planning and a lot more surviving! My kids are okay, but not how I was planning for them to turn out.
Logically- you can plan for the fiscal and temporal strain. The relationship and personal strain are different for everyone. I find myself daydreaming for some
me time, but I'll be the one who will ask the kids if they want to run with me to do errands.
The big question is: What is RB saying about all this? What's his rationale for being childless?
Successive questions are: You do realize that even the best of children act as a strain on your relationship, right?
You do realize that while the financial burdens for one child tend to be overstated, a child with special needs (or multiple births) are generally understated in their costs in both time and money.
I don't know if that helps- but at least you got me posting. And if you guys decide to have a baby... prepare for your heart to dwell permanantly outside your body.
Love and Luck,
Marc