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Old 07-05-2006, 07:12 AM   #6 (permalink)
JustJess
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Location: Kittyville
Do you have a competitive drive? Sort of. I really only compete with myself. I don't care how everyone else is doing, other than as a way to measure whether the things we're doing are easy or not for the general populace. The hell with what everyone else is doing, I want an A. And if I'm not getting an A, that's when I'm checking the stats to see if it's me, or if the material/grading is just that hard. I'm not doing this stuff for anyone else, it's just what I expect of myself.

Do you enjoy competing? Sometimes! But other people take it so personally that I get bored with their posturing. Either be the best you can be, or stop wasting my time.

Professionally, Academically, or Athletically? Oh, definitely academically. I never cared in HS or even in college at first, but then Quadro pissed me off one day... But again, I'm not competing so much as getting info to affirm that I'm doing well in terms of what I expect of myself. It's reassurance more than anything. I know I'm pretty intelligent, and so I expect that my scores/understanding/etc is in the upper percentage of the class. But all that idea of misinformation to get ahead? Disgusting. People ask me for help all the time in classes, and I freely explain and help. I like being the one who knows stuff.

Professionally, I don't have to compete. I just do a damned good job because I like to. I can't imagine NOT doing a good job. As my boss notices that, I get praised at work pretty often - no need to jockey around for that.

Athletically... I used to be a bit more competitive, but that too has become me competing against me. *I* know what is strong for me, and what is being in shape for me, and that's what I strive for. I do have some envy for those women who are tougher/in better shape, though.

If you do enjoy competition, what drives you? As I stated above, I just like being the one who knows/understands/etc. Otherwise, I just feel good being good at things.

If you don't, what holds you back? I don't like to appear outwardly competitive because I feel it's petty - at least, the people I have seen being competitive seem petty to me. Who cares if Alice can lift more weight? But if Alice is getting better grades, what does she know that I don't? How can I learn as well as she is? There's not envy, there's a need to know as much, that's all.

Do you think that your status as a woman has much to do with your stance? Nope. I'm pretty unusual for a woman that way, I think. You know how women are stereotyped as catty and manipulative? Nah, not me. In fact, that's always kept me from having many women friends. I think I'm just too comfortable in my skin, always have been. I don't need to be better than others, really. I just need to be MY best.

Gods, I sound like an after school special. *sigh*
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