And an effort it must be. When my son was in first grade, a discussion with his teacher led me to this comment: "I'm very lucky". She admonished me, stating luck has nothing to do with the performance and behavior of my son (and his sister), that it was parenting only and for that, I should be congratulated and when done so, say 'thank you'. So, now I do.
We make mistakes and go to bed regretting something we did, but when it comes together, when things go right, every effort, every disparaging moment, they all congeal and we look at the growth of these creatures and realize maybe we're not the fuck-ups we sometimes think we are; that whatever has gone wrong in life, the successful growth of our offspring makes it almost inconsequential.
People regret having kids for a myriad of reasons, from hating the spouse they had them with to blaming their kids for their loss of freedoms. But it was their decision to do so, the kids didn't cause their negative outlooks. In those instances, I feel badly for the kids-nothing in the world can compare to the feeling that you are the cause for regret, despair and unloved simply for existing.
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Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.
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