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Originally Posted by ngdawg
Ah, but why was that choice made? Whether someone decides to have 0,1 or 6, it is a selfish decision. No one can say without a doubt that their decision is ONLY for the good of the world or for mankind, or anything else. No one can say without a doubt that ONLY the child they have is going to do great things.
To go another way, same result though: I wanted more kids. Why? There was no reason on earth to have any. Spouse said no way. So, we have the two. The 'reasons' not to have more certainly were logical: expense, no room in the house, the toll it'd take on me physically and the age I'd be.
Being illogical in a decision to have one would be, inarguably, no home, no income, no support, etc. But logical reasons to have any don't exist. Logical timing does.
You knew the time was right, you knew you wanted this or maybe some other reason. But in the great scheme of things, we bring children into this world for a myriad of reasons, some totally illogical and a few downright ridiculous, but the final reason is the desire to do so at a time in our lives that is right. For us.
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...that assumes that we view being selfish as bad. Let me tell you now, we had the kid for selfish reasons. We had the kid to enrich OUR lives. We didn't do it for the world or directly, even for him. It just so happens that we are rather comfortable in the concept of being selfish and doing things for ourselves. That does not mean being selfish has to hurt others in the process either.
So the "why" question that makes the most sense to me is: will YOUR life be better after kid(s)?
My previous advice was to go through everything that the choice will affect (which is pretty much everything there is...) and see where that puts you. Sometimes kids can put some distance between a couple temporarily as your emotional focus has to shift. Can everyone handle that? What activities do you like? If the answer is that your favorite thing to do is watch Barney on TV, then that might be a check in the right direction.