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Originally Posted by lurkette
OK....good points on all sides. Keep 'em coming! This is great food for thought, and I find myself horror-stricken by the fact that Ustwo is making sense to me!  But then, so is Analog. You guys are just carrying out externally the argument I'm having with myself.
While we're at it, add these to the list of thoughts I'm spewing:
Another (good? bad?) reason not to have a kid:
- overpopulation and environmental destruction. We don't need more people on the planet, its resources are taxed enough as is, and another American kid is just going to add to the rampant consumption of resources.
Another (good? bad?) reason to have a kid:
- The thought of NOT doing it, of missing that particular opportunity to grow and to have that sweet experience, makes me very sad.
Thoughts? Particularly on the ethics of having a child in an already overpopulated world. |
I can probably say unequivocably that no one here worked harder or went through more crap to have a child. Towit: 10 years of fertility treatments, 3 surgeries, including exploratory, one that had to reconstruct my lower abdominal organs and the final one, which, as a procedure called GIFT, produced the twins(out of 15 eggs and 5 implanted). We were in contact with two separate adoption agencies, one in Manhattan that finally turned us down as it was during the '88 Olympics in Seoul and Korea suspended all out-of-country adoptions during that time. The second agency kept us on, even after the GIFT because, as they so eloquently put it, we may still want more children and there are so many waiting in so many countries. Which brings me to this:
I understand the 'gut-pulling' instinct to want to experience the entire process. What I did not expect, and I don't think anyone really does until it happens to them, are the dangers, the mishaps, the absolute terror that comes over you. I almost lost my son twice, I was on total bedrest the entire second trimester and again half the last. Wanting to be pregnant is truly selfish and anyone who says it isn't is lying. It's not really a
bad selfish, but selfish nevertheless. Adoption solves many of the issues you face in this decision. You become a parent; you WILL get a baby, albeit possibly 4-6 months old, but a baby. It will be healthy, unless you specify otherwise. It will be part of a loving home, made more so because it is TRULY wanted. Adoption doesn't add to population woes, it's a tiny salvation from them. As the aunt to two adopted boys and having friends who have adopted from Korea and Colombia, I can honestly tell you, they ARE parents in every sense of the word and moreso because they fought and desired so hard to make that dream a reality. And you can even nurse your adopted baby! Takes some dedicated work, but it can be done.